1. Take a look at this intelligent answer:
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ... He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running".
2. She was so blonde...
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box
because it said "concentrate".
...she put lipstick on her forehead
because she wanted to make up her mind.
...she told me to meet her
at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".
...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she tried to drown a fish.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"... she put "Sagittarius".
...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
...she studied for a blood test ...and failed.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
...she sold the car for gas money.
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
3. A man said to his wife one day,
"I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
4. Some Bollywood films and computer terms linked -
1) Pentium III & Pentium I ---- Bade miyan and Chhote miyan.
2) Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hi tha.
3) Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.
4) F1 - Guide.
5) Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.
6) Ctrl+Alt+Del - Akhri Rastaa.
7) CrtlC + CtrlV - Duplicate.
8) Undo - Aa ab laut chale.
9) Super User Password - Gupt.
10 )BackUp - Jaagte raho.
11) UPS - Janta Hawaldar.
12 ) Server - Godfather.
13) Proxy Server - Padosan.
14) Security - Nakabandi.
15) Storage - Tehkhana.
16) Storage capacity - Badhti ka naam Dadhi.
17) Computer without RAM - Kora Kagaz.
18) Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.
19) System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.
20) Dumb Terminal - Anari.
21) Mouse - Jaanwar.
22) Hard Disk partition - Batwara.
23) Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.
24) Temporary file - Khote Sikkey.
25) Operator vs Computer - Mein khiladi Tu Anadi.
26) NRI - Phir bhi Dil hai Hindustaani.
27) Indian Programmers - Jawab Hum denge.
28 ) Contractor - Bakra Kisto pe.
29 ) Employee on Probation - Paying Guest.
30 )Employee who works Sincerely -Dil Se.
5. Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh Yet... There's more!)
As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie
Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"
That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.
"And whose clock is that?"
That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."
Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"
"Laloo's clock is in my office", replied Yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan".